This is my first blog and with it I am hoping to share my thoughts on life as an immigrant from Nigeria, aspects of design from Texas, the U.S., Nigeria and other parts of the world, food, and life in general. I hope people will learn a lot about my culture as I will learn about theirs. I hope to start lively and respectful conversations, make new friends and enrich my views of lots of things.
However I am starting my first post on a somber note because I am going through such a difficult time in my life right now. Of course it can seem self indulgent to say that you seem to be having trouble "finding yourself", but I am not so much doing that hoping to find a way to bravely be myself.
So here's the thing… I just got fired from a job. Most people have experienced this at some point or another but the main reason I think I was fired apart from their cited reason of not being fast enough in Quark is that I didn't fit into their crass-joke loving, jokes-at-other's-expense pretentious environment. I am from a much more refined culture than that. It is hard for most people to believe this since I am Nigerian but we are not all internet scammers. I live a law abiding, creative life and I am by no means a prude but I am reserved by nature and easy going. The more I have lived in this country, the more i wonder if I have to change my essential person to just to fit into the fast lane life here. Everyone has something smart alecky to say and mostly of the time none of it smart.
So I have decided that I will not change myself for anyone. Will try to abide by acceptable societal norms in my adopted country? Of course I will do my best. However I refuse to let anyone make me sad to be me. I refuse to doubt myself anymore. I refuse to fake a laugh just to fit in. I refuse to quell the voices of my ancestors that live through me. I come from proud people. A long line of weavers, potters, tailors, storytellers and musicians. People who have lived by the strength of their hands and sweat of their brow. I will live through all that this country throws at me. Through all the bouts of homesickness, all the stupid questions from ignorant strangers (my favorite: "How come you speak such good English?", and all the days when things may not go entirely my way. I want to me and hope that I find someone to love me for me and friends who love me because I am me. That in this country of strangers, I shall insist on being Bukola. Bravely…
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3 comments:
Bukola,
I just found you post. I am so sorry that you were fired. I am an American and I must tell you that not all of us are that way. Many of us are fighting the same battles that you are. You sound like a wonderful person and shouldn't have to change for any job or anyone.
Today was a sad day for me too, you can read about it at my blog.
I enjoyed your first post. People here think they know much but the reality is the opposite. Maybe you are a bush girl or maybe grew up in the city but I bet many in the bush have a better understanding of the world than most here. Keep posting and good luck.
Bukola, I just found you through west africa wins always. I'm so glad I did. I hope you keep blogging &mdash most of the world is frighteningly ignorant about Africa, and it may be that your job is to teach us all. I am blogrolling you. Please link to me or blogroll me in return. Thanks!
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